Why I Do Not Make New Year's Resolutions

Why I Do Not Make New Year’s Resolutions

We are nearing the end of February…or as I like to call it, the graveyard of New Year’s resolutions. Did you make any this year? Do you remember what they were? Are you still sticking to them? Some of you may have answered yes to all of those questions and in that case, good for you! Honestly, that is awesome and you probably do not need to read any further. Keep crushing those goals of yours and carry on. But for the rest of us…why does this seem to happen every year? I know for me at least, new year’s goals or resolutions tend to stress me out. In the beginning of January, we are coming out of food and holiday dessert comas and we use the new year as a marker to start fresh or recreate ourselves or to finally quit an old habit. Out with the old and in with the new! But here’s the thing, the new year is really just another day. We build it up, we make excuses, and we fantasize change. We tell ourselves we are going to lose five pounds, we are going to work out every day, we are going to cut out sugar, we are going to be happier.

Reality hits, and we realize it’s the end of February and we are back in our routines and we have forgotten about our resolutions. This tends to happen because we set resolutions hoping that tomorrow will be different, but if we actually want change, the change has to happen today. We cannot make excuses to wait for something to change in our lives. <em>I will be happier when X,Y, and Z will happen. </em>If we live in that mindset, we will never find the “happiness” we desire. It is the same idea as waiting for tomorrow or waiting for the new year to make a change.

I used to constantly be in the mindset that if I lost a certain amount of pounds then I would finally be happy. I was caught in a cyclical battle with myself that every time I did lose weight I was still not happy. I then thought, okay maybe a couple more pounds and then I will be happy. Spoiler alert this did NOT work for me. I stopped making goals or resolutions that were going to “make me happy” if I accomplished them because they ultimately left me feeling more empty than before.

I stopped chasing tomorrow. I shifted my focus to the present. What is something positive I can bring into my life today? What are things I can focus on long term but that do not affect my immediate happiness at the moment if they are not completed? This year I decided to set some intentions. Intentions are more of fluid ideas rather than rigid goals. They are things that I intend on focusing on for probably the rest of my life. One of them is “learning to say no.” Now, if I say yes one day, am I going to throw my phone out of the window, abandon all of my intentions, and wait for January 2020 to make any changes? Obviously not. Not only because I still say yes every day, but I want to be more mindful about the things I am saying “yes” to. Do I need to go to that workout class? Do I need to put that extra project on my plate to please that person? Intentions can be very subtle changes. Personally, I think that is the best way to make a change in your life, especially a change that will last.

So trust me, you really don’t have to wait for tomorrow to make a change in your life. Start small, and go from there. Be patient and never forget that good things take time.