How to Get Over Your First Heartbreak
Challenging Comfort
Life is a tricky thing, filled with many different people, emotions, and actions. Sometimes we find ourselves asking, <em>why am I doing this? Or why do I feel like this? When we are happy we want to stay happy forever, when we are sad we want to find the quickest way out of that feeling as possible. When we find ourselves outside of our comfort zones, our first instinct is to retreat back to familiarity. But, why is this? Well… it is a hell of a lot easier to be comfortable. Think of it like this; you walk into your school dining hall at fifteen years old, you can choose to either sit with your five best friends, or sit at a table with people you have never talked to before. Majority of people would undoubtedly pick the first option, because choosing what we know is human nature. We like to stay close to what we know and surround ourselves with what we know.
I challenge this idea. If we were to always pick the comfortable, safe option, where would growth fit in? It is during tough times, that we learn and we grow and we change. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is anything else that is worth having or worth doing or worth anything to you. Great things take time. As much as our initial instinct is to move out of these moments of limbo, we need to start embracing them.
When you stop expecting things to happen in a certain way, you start appreciating them for what they are. Do not be afraid to change your perspective, start over, or go somewhere alone. This past summer, the majority of my friends spent the summer interning in New York City, as comfortable as it would have been for me to be surrounded by all my closest friends, I hate that city. A lot. I am not sure if I will ever grow to be friends with it, but currently, I am not a fan. The idea of going somewhere alone for the summer intimidated me when there was an easier option readily available. But, I hate choosing easy and giving up a challenge so I chose to go to Nantucket alone and work at a store. “No internship before your senior year?” “But you’ll be all alone?” Yes these thoughts went through my head as well as others who asked me why I would do such a thing. But, I knew I had to do something different, and challenge myself in a way I have not before.
When I first got to Nantucket I immediately regretted my decision. I tried to figure out as soon as possible if it was too late to get an internship in New York. <em>What was I thinking?Life’s short? Why am I not doing what I want? </em>I tend to think like this a lot. I plan in my mind these ideas that seem perfect, and then once I follow through, I regret them and question everything. I wanted to hit a fast forward button and proceed to the part of my life where I was comfortable again and surrounded by my friends. But, I stayed, and I worked, and I met new people, and believe it or not, it started to transform into the summer of my life. My perspective changed on many things and the difficult moments melted into memories. I am so beyond grateful for my decision to shy away from the easy route because I am so thankful for the people I met this summer and the moments I created.
Without tough times, moments of limbo, and transitional periods in your life, you just have fluff. Difficult and hard times are the foundation of what makes you, you. What makes you strong, what makes you different, and what makes you powerful. So, start embracing change, and try every once in a while to get comfortable outside of your comfort zone…it may surprise you.